Happy New Year Steampunk Writers

Happy New Year.
It’s 60 degrees outside and there is rain in the forecast.
Why would I be happy about rain? Well, it doesn’t get cold enough, well very often, to freeze the rain, and we haven’t have a good rain yet and the rainy season is half over.
Without serious amounts of rain we will be back in drought conditions soon.

What does this have to do about Steampunk writing? Well, I can not read a monthly science fiction magazine without running into an end-of-the-world ecological based story.

Where’s the Steampunk story about a London with an unusually warm winter. With the water level in the river Thames lower than it has every been. Ships are having trouble navigating the river. With shifting sand bars that have never given trouble and are now grounding ships. The water in the Thames is getting too salty to drink from seawater intrusion.

In this world there are newspaper articles about autonomous coal mining machines that work 24 hours a day and are causing the price of coal to drop. Inventors are churning out steam/coal powered labor saving device after device that are that are out striping the newly enlarged supply of coal.

There is unrest with many miners and others out of work, replaced by the autonomous machines.

A minor, little known inventor says using all the coal is causing the problems with the weather and the river level, and it’s the use of coal that causing the problem not the autonomous machines. But he gets in trouble when he says that they will have to stop using the autonomous machines. The inventor disappears. Did the mine owners do him in? Did foreign agents from countries that need the coal do him in? Did the makers of the autonomous machines do him in?

I got the makings of a good mystery here.

Stay strong, write on. Guess who done it.

Professor Hyram Voltage.

Happy Year End Day

In a Gray Lensman story by E. E. “Doc” Smith the main characters attend a Year End Day celebration. I like the idea. The idea of celebrating the good things of the past year.

We seem to focus on the bad things in life. We should also recognize and celebrate the good things too. I do not mean to ignore the passing of friends and family. I have lost both this year. But I have gained new friends this year. New friends will not replace the memory of friends lost, but they will open the future to a world of new memories.

There were adventures this year. I went to see the eclipse in Oregon. While doing that I got to see a lot of Oregon I normally would never have seen and met people I would have never met other wise. I went to conventions and saw things most people will never get to see. A fire that happened months after one convention destroyed some art work that was prominently displayed there.

Nothing will replace my friends home that was destroyed by the big fire in California. But my friend is alive and is rebuilding. It won’t be the same, but I’m sure it will be better. It will take time and it will be sad.

From my friends sad experience of not knowing what he had, the small things, the things he used every day, so he could claim them on his insurance forms I am doing a photo inventory of by belonging. It’s a lot of work, I got a lot of stuff. It’s also a treasure hunt. You never know what you’ll find in the back of a drawer or closet. I’m also getting rid of stuff I forgot I had. It’s a time of memories and sadness as I go through some of the old stuff. It’s also a time of renewal and of planning to do better. And it’s a time of sitting back and thinking about what I’ve accomplished this year and past years. Many of those things no one will ever get to do again. Hey, I survived Y2K. That’s not going to happen again.

So here’s to a good year, past. Some people thought the country would fall apart. This old country got its problems, but it is a long way from coming apart. Some people thought the world was going to end, over and over again they changed the date. They’ve been saying that the end of the world is coming for over 3000 years.

I got the back yard looking better than its looked in years. Not that I don’t still have a lot too do in the back yard. I have a new access door into the garage so when the main door fails to open again I won’t have to call in specialist to get into the garage. I have helped friends, it made me feel good to help. I still have a lot of cleaning and reorganizing to do, but that’s for next year, but then that’s tomorrow.

I got plans for next year. World con (science fiction convention), conventions in San Diego, Kansas, who knows where else. I completed plans I had for 2017. I didn’t get all the plans completed, but I made progress.

Intermingled with the sadness of last year I had fun, I did things.

May you remember and celebrate the good things of last year. May you pause and reflect on the sadness of last year. And may your new year be prosperous, bountiful and joyous.

Happy Year End Day.

Stay strong, write on. Happy New Year. Professor Hyram Voltage

And I say this after spending all new years eve morning and most of the day in the emergency room of the hospital.

The 12 days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 11

You might have an Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

Putting up Christmas lights makes you feel like a kid with a new Erector Set… your not going to stop until you have used every nut, bolt, and piece in the set.

You might have a problem if you blog about Christmas lights.

You might really have a problem if you have a You Tube channel dedicated to Christmas lights.

You might really, really have a problem if your Christmas light YouTube channel has 50,000 followers and they’re all trying to out do you.

You might have a problem if you give Christmas lights for presents. (if you like them then everybody should like them, is one 200 lights string for uncle Joe enough?)

You might really have a problem if you bring Christmas lights and ornaments to a party so they’ll have enough, and you come early to help decorate.

You might really, really have a problem if the best present you get for Christmas is a simple string of Christmas lights and you rush out into the yard to put them up. In your pajamas while it’s snowing and your barefoot.

You might have a problem if you have four displays featuring Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer.

You might really have a problem if in your front yard all six of your Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer noses blink in unison.

You might really, really have a problem if you have a display where Santa’s sleigh is pulled by nine Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeers.

Stray strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 10

You might have an Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

You try blowing your own glass Christmas ornaments on the kitchen stove. Take it from me, you’re gonna have problems if it’s an electric stove.

You really might have a problem if you order Christmas ornaments from Europe.

You might really, really have a problem if you visit Kathe Wohlfaht store/Christmas village in Rothenburg Ob der Tauber, Germany, every year.

You might have gone to far if you bought a 3D printer to make your own Christmas ornaments.

You might have a problem if you buy Elf-on-a-Shelf by the case.

You might have a problem if you have one set of ornaments for even numbered years and another for odd numbered years, and you buy so many new ornaments every year that you never have room on the tree to put the old ones.

You might really have a problem if you contracted with the Goodyear company (blimp division) to make your next Christmas inflatable yard decoration.

You really, really might have a problem if you need a pilot license to take delivery of your inflatable Christmas yard decoration.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 Days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 9

If you spend hours watching YouTube videos of Christmas displays.

If post hours YouTube videos of your Christmas display.

You have a real problem if you post a new video of your Christmas display very week because you keep changing and upgrading your display.

If you stopped buying extension cords by the case and started buying 250 foot rolls of lamp cord to make your own extension cords.

You have a real problem if you buy the rolls of wire by the case… of 1000 foot rolls.

If you start taking a welding class at the local Junior College so you can make your Christmas displays bigger than the store bought ones your neighbor has.

If you take your cone of lights tree display into the welding shop to have them made it taller or bigger, because when you tried to weld it up it fall apart that night.

You have a real problem if this is the third time you’ve taken the cone of lights tree in to the welding shop to have them make it bigger, this week.

You have a real bad problem if you’ve applied for a permit to fly drones, so you can have the drones take your Christmas lights up, higher- much higher.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 Days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 8

You might have an Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If your Christmas stocking is so big, a small kid could use it for a sleeping bag.

If your Christmas stocking is so big, you could use it for a sleeping bag.

You might really have a problem if your Christmas stocking is so big, you use it to covers your car at night because the garage is full of half completed Christmas decorations.

If you have the whole Mannheim Steamroller Christmas song collection playing in an endless loop on the stereo all day and night.

If you can sing white Christmas backwards.

You have a real problem if you have the Doctor Demento Christmas CD playing in an endless loop on the stereo all day and night.

If you broadcast the music your Christmas lights dance to over the FM radio so people driving by can tune the music in on the car radio.

You have a problem if you bought an illegal amplifier for the FM radio music transmitter so it’s louder than your neighbor.

You have a real problem if you have your Christmas lights dancing to the local, all Christmas music, radio station and you bought the station so you could control the music it plays.

If you hire someone to write Christmas music just for you.

If you hire a live band to play in your front yard among the displays.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 Days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-Day 7

You might have a Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If you get into an argument about real versus artificial Christmas trees, and you own stock in a Christmas tree farm.

If you have a live Christmas tree growing in a container, in the living room, and a back up live Christmas tree growing in a container in the back yard.

If you have a live decorated Christmas tree in a container in the front yard as a back up to the tree in the back yard that’s a back up to the tree in the living room.

If you have three Christmas tree top ornaments and you can’t decide which one looks best, so every night you change the tree top ornament.

If you have five spare tree top ornaments.

If you have twelve tree top ornaments, one for each of the twelve days of Christmas. And that’s not counting the couple of spares you have hidden in the closet.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 Days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-Day 6

You might have a Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If the Santa and his sleigh display in your front yard has more than eight reindeer because you like making the reindeer decorations.

If the people at the Hallmark store know you by your first name, know what color you like, set aside ornaments for you and have a shopping cart for you with your name on it.

If you need sun glasses when you look at your Christmas tree and the light are not even on.

If there are so many ornaments on the Christmas tree that some keep falling off.

You might really have a problem if the tree collapses under the weight of all the ornaments.

If you have one Christmas tree for the living room and one for the den, and a small living tree in a pot on your desk at work.

You dig out the 50 year old set of stencils you used as a kid to put Christmas decorations on the window with Windex. But back then Windex came in a metal can and you can’t find anything like that in the store. So you try and make your own. Now the kitchen looks like a mad scientist lab.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

The 12 days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 5

You might have a Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If you get so busy putting up lights and displays that you forget to post an update on your Christmas decorating blog. The lights were giving me trouble last night.

If you petition the city for a zoning ordinance to allow you to install a bigger Christmas displays in your yard. Your friendly competition with your neighbor for who has the best Christmas display is getting serious.

If you have built a fence, a walls, or hung blackout curtains to keep the lights from your neighbor’s display from interfering with yours.

You have yanked down all your super bright LED Christmas lights and have an emergency order in to replace them with super, ultra bright LED Christmas lights.

If you hire someone to help put up Christmas lights and displays.

If you hire a bucket host to put up your Christmas decorations.

If you hire a 20 ton crane to put up your Christmas decorations.

If you have to hire an electrical contractor to up grade the electrical service and fuse box to your house from 100 amps to 500 amps so you can put up more lights.

You might really have a problem if you bought a 20 kilowatt generator so you can run more lights. (Hey, I disguised it as Santa’s sleigh).

Stay strong, write on. Professor Voltage

The 12 Days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 4

You might have a Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If you have a closet full of Christmas wrapping paper.

If the paper in your closet is paper that was taken off every present your family received for the last twenty years.

If some of that twenty year old paper has been used several times to warp different presents, and you don’t see anything wrong with doing that.

If you buy ribbon, to wrap your presents with, in bulk.

If bulk means the ribbon comes in lengths measuring a large fractions of a mile, or longer.

If the 2000 foot roll of red ribbon is almost empty.

If your hat has blinking Christmas lights on it.

If your shirt has blinking Christmas lights on it.

If you got a ticket because your car is covered with blinking Christmas lights.

If you have rigged the door bell to say HO, HO, HO when someone pushes it.

You don’t have a problem if you made a Christmas tree out of beer cans. You’re just a red neck. Tip, the tall silver cans work best.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage