The 12 days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating day 1

You might have an Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem;

If your neighbor complains about you using a precision machinist ruler to measure the distance between Christmas ornaments when you put them on the tree in your front yard.

If you get upset when you explain to your neighbor that a yard stick isn’t accurate enough.

If your wife gets upset when you order a 24 inch long calipers on Amazon (I always wanted one of them) to measure where to put the Christmas ornaments on the tree. I forgot the rule. No buying tools starting one month before Christmas. But honey my eyes aren’t as good as they use to be.

If you cut up a string of Christmas lights and re-solder the lights back together because the lights weren’t exactly the same distance apart and the colors weren’t in the right order.

If you use a triple beam balance scale to weigh your home made chocolate chip cookies to ensure that each cookie weights the same. You also count the chocolate chips in each cookie to make sure each one has the same number of chips.

If you take all the misshapen cookies, the over or under weight cookies and the cookies that have the wrong number of chocolate chips to work and give them to your frenemy and you get mad because the frenemy likes them. Likes them a lot, but they’re flawed.

If you take home made chocolate covered sun flower seeds for your friend the red neck at work, and you forget and left the shells on the sun flower seeds, and he likes them. You have a real problem if the boss likes them to.

If you go back to the fancy gift warp store for paper with a different design because the design on the paper you got is too big and goes around the edge of the gift spoiling the picture.

If you take the Christmas tree back to where you bought it so they can cut the bottom of the tree straighter after you tried to cut it straight three times, you have a problem. Hey after all that cutting the top of the tree doesn’t touch the ceiling any more.

If you take it back twice to the place you bought it to have it cut again, you have a real problem.

If you take it back three times, you’re drunk which was the problem all along.

Stay strong, write on, decorate massively. Professor Hyram Voltage

A Dilbert Moment at Social Security

I had to go to the Social Security office. I know you can make an appointment so I got on line and pulled up the web page for the local office.

The web page did not list a phone number that you could call to make an appointment at the local office. The only phone number listed on the local Social Security office web site is the national Social Security telephone number. I called that number and the automated voice told me it was an hour to and hour and a half wait to talk to someone. I pushed the buttons to have them call me back and was told that was an hour and a half wait time too. I went down to the social security office and waited an hour there instead. It was quicker to go to the office than deal with the nation telephone number.

Once I got to see a representative I asked how do you make an appointment. He said you call this number. I told him the number wasn’t on the local office web site. He said yes, you either call the national number or Google the number. Why have a web site if your not going to put a phone number on it that speeds up service for both the customer and the office?

I needed to help a family member get Medicare. I told the rep that the Social Security web site had a button called How To Apply. If you click on the button it gives you all sorts of information about the benefits of Medicare, but tells you nothing about how to apply for Medicare. He said you can apply for Medicare on line from the Medicare web site but that’s buried somewhere on the Medicare site.

The How To Apply web page should tell you how to apply, what site to go to or where to go to and what buttons to push.

The Social Security web site is a true Dilbert or software coder’s web site. Lots of information, but nothing you need.

Write on, draw on.         Professor Hyram Voltage