Archive for month: December, 2017

You might have an Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If you have ever cut a branch off a Christmas tree and glued it back on in a different place so the tree would look natural, balanced.

If you have rearranged the Christmas lights, decorations, and displays in your neighbor’s front yard because they weren’t aligned with his house.

If your boss tells you to take down some of the Christmas decorations you put up in your cubical, at work, because they’re blocking the hallways and keep blowing the circuit breakers.

If the shelf in your cubical at work collapsed because you had too many elfs on the shelf.

If your boss tells you to stop answering the phone HO, HO, HO.

If you stop and buy three strings of Christmas lights on your way home after work and you have ten new in-the-box strings of lights setting on the work bench at home that you haven’t put up yet.

If you see a great, you-build-it, decoration in a woodworking magazine at the dentist office and stop off at the hardware store on the way home and get;
12 sheets of plywood,
11 extension cords,
10 paint brushes,
9 spot lights,
8 vampire plugs,
70 feet of garland,
6 rolls of wrapping paper,
5 gallons of paint,
4 inflatable snowmen,
3 boxes of nails,
2 nail guns,
and a really big, humongous, table saw.

Stay strong, write on, and build a Merry Christmas. Professor Hyram Voltage

You are a writer. I can say that till I’m blue in the face and you won’t believe me.

You want prof. You’ve been one since kindergarten, when they forced you to use a pencil the size of a blunt telephone pole to trace out the alphabet on a sheet of brown paper that had pieces of tree bark imbedded in it.

You are a writer if you write, once a day, once a week, whenever. No law says you have to write a certain amount by a certain time to be a writer.

You’re a creative writer when you fill out a tax form, an expensive form at work, a travel claim for a trip you took.

You’re an author when you get something published. It could be in a club newsletter, Your writer’s group blog, the local newspaper, in someones else’s blog, or even your own blog.

You’re an author if you write fan fiction and post it on the web. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re not only a writer, you’re an author.

You’ve make it as an author when you publish a book on Amazon. No one has to buy the book. You’re published, you’re an author.

You’ve made it as an author if someone writes fan fiction using your characters.

You’ve really made it as an author if someone writes slash fiction using your characters.

You’re better than average author if you get trolled for your writing.

You know you’re a real writer and author when you start your second book before you finish your first book, even after all the suffering, the giving up of watching TV, giving up time with family and friends, the hours of sitting by yourself writing. Writing is hard, writing the second book is incredibility hard, but you’re a real writer.

Don’t tell people; “I’m a writer.” That’s passive. Tell them; “I write Horror,” “I write Steampunk,” “I write Fan Fiction.” “I write the best story you’ll ever read.”

Stay strong, write on, and publish. Professor Hyram Voltage.

The first person you need to convince is you, yourself. And it’s real easy to convince yourself if you’re standing there holding a book, a book you wrote, in your hand.